Flavia Nunez, a 2021 Scholar living in Miami, FL, shares what her experience applying to be a Bezos Scholar in 2020 was like. She is now halfway through her Scholar year, and wants to encourage Scholar hopefuls to apply. Her poetic storytelling sprinkled with truth and a dash of wisdom—read on to learn the biggest thing she worked on overcoming when completing her application and her advice for anyone who is considering applying. 

The air was cold. I was sitting at a wooden table, typing fast. My Bezos Scholars Program application was due in a few weeks, and I was trying to beat my laptop’s dwindling battery. I could not charge it; the power, the heater, the water—it was all out.  

It was Christmas morning. Outside, the forest knew. Not a single sound emerged from the Tennessee wilderness. The tall trees faithfully committed to a white Christmas, holding up seven inches of ivory snow that fell the day before.  

My family and I were stuck inside a cabin far away from civilization. We were not prepared for a blizzard; our car did not have four-wheel drive and ice coated the roads. Hailing from tropical Miami, we had never dreamed snow could be so graceful and scary at the same time. 

On my screen, Microsoft Word’s blue-and-white color palette resembled the winter wonderland theme outside. The essay I typed was a document I had reopened that morning for the first time since deeming it a cold case weeks before.  

How did I end up there: terrified of being stuck in the middle of the snowy forest, in the middle of writing an essay on Christmas morning? An essay I had convinced myself I could never write. 

Self-doubt.  

Have you ever opened an application and closed it before you even gave it, and yourself, a fighting chance? You read the eligibility requirements and believed you met them, but—you were just convinced that compared to somebody else, you could never measure up. Self-doubt cannot control the weather but that Christmas morning, at the end of the very turbulent 2020, I realized it could control almost everything else. In your life. And in mine.  

Vincent van Gogh once said, “If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” That quote has been plastered on hundreds of sweaters, mugs (LOL—see below) and stylized refrigerator magnets. And while some people have largely adapted their philosophy around the quote’s core concept, many have not. I was one of those who had not, because in my heart, I believed I was too small to make any difference. 

The Bezos Scholars Program seeks students who want to change their community. I wanted so much to give back to mine, so I had opened the application countless times, only to close it again. I had already started Bracelets for Books, making and selling stainless steel book quote bracelets to use the profits to buy books for children in my community. My passion is to foster a love of reading while improving literacy. But it was at a standstill of sorts, stemming from one core, false paradigm. And well—I think you can guess what it was.   

Later that Christmas day, as my family and I inched down the slopes of the Smoky Mountains in our car, the fear of the treacherous drive scared away all my other negative feelings. On the drive back home to sunny, snow-free Florida, I finished my application. It was not easy, but it was not as impossible as I made myself believe. I once thought that I was too small to make a difference. But I now know—you grow not with age, but with valor, and with confidence, and with responding to that little voice you might hear in your head to say, “I see you, self-doubt. But I won’t listen.” 

The Bezos Scholars Program chose me along with 16 other brilliant students and 13 incredible educators who I am so happy to now call friends. The program has changed me and my relationship with myself and my project. Seminars on design thinking and team building, as well as sessions with guest speakers who simultaneously awe and empower, have enabled me to grow. Interacting with Scholars from all walks of life has vastly broadened my worldview. Under the priceless guidance of my Scholar peers and the incredible people who head the Bezos Scholars Program, my project has been given the space to grow, and so have I.  

If you have an idea—if you have a will to change the world—don’t let self-doubt stop you. Paint. Paint anything and everything! 

Don’t let the cold doubt creep in.  

Apply. 

Big thanks to Flavia for taking the time to write this and for all the students that take the time to apply and remind all of us to keep going and doing our best—even when we doubt ourselves.